Reflections: The dreaded D&M

It's Saturday night and I'm in by myself for the first time in a very long time. The Mister has a cycle race tomorrow so is staying away as it's an early start. I really don't function well by myself; I find it's almost a waste of time that I could be seeing and chatting to people. It's strange being alone with your thoughts as it feels sometimes like your brain can't stop going over; or maybe that's just me?

So I've decided to get started with my letters and make the most of the quiet. I'm not sure I have many exciting things to share but I'll try my best to tell those people that I miss them and what it is about them that makes me smile.

I'm listening to the Garden State soundtrack and a little Elliott Smith. Maybe that's not helpful in making my mind stop thinking about things as the film itself leaves me a little vulnerable about mortality. This isn't meant to be a depressing post; more of a reflection that sometimes in moments of quiet the drama and pretence is gone and you can see things with a little clarity.

Goodnight to anyone that is reading this; I hope you savour that delicious moment of alone time as rare as it may be.

"Spoilt" vs "Paying your own way"

I've had to decide over the last couple of days whether to write a post about a scenario that happened this week or just call it a "bad day" and leave it there, but I can't shift it from my thoughts and so for that reason I must get it off of my "literary chest".

"Spoilt" vs "Paying your own way".

For those who may not know I've got a full time office job (home based but a 9-5 job none the less), I work as a freestyle hairdresser in the evenings and weekends and am currently saving every penny I have for half the deposit of our future home.

If the tiara fits?

I am very lucky to have a thoughtful, clever and funny boyfriend and he is in a similar financial position; ambitious, on the first few rungs of the career ladder and saving. He is also welcoming of my modern feminist stance on "going dutch" and can very rarely afford to treat me like a princess even if I wanted him to. 


I love shopping and going to the pub with my friends on pay day but still drive around in my first car, live at home with my Mum and still recycle my old faithful summer/winter wardrobe.

Alas, this week somebody very close to me said I was "Spoilt" because the money I have left over from bills is normally spend on myself.

As a twenty-something in 2012 I don't have the responsibility that others do- children, a mortgage or debt (other than student loans) so I've been making the most of being utterly selfish (with a huge list of demands before 30) whilst I can. However, I fund this ALL myself.


As a woman who earns her own money, pays her way, goes dutch on dates with her boyfriend and has been saving for the future for what seems like forever, being called "Spoilt" feels like a step back for equality; like we can fight to have it all like men do, as long as we don't flaunt it?

Gone are the days when men had to buy us a home or put food on the table and I for one am all for the new age as it means I get buying power and can be proud of what I've earned whether it's shoes, a house or a holiday with the girls!

It's my money and I'll spend it if I want to

Does being "spoilt" depend on what you bought? Who bought it? Whether it was a treat for yourself or a necessity to survive?


What is the difference being "spoilt" and just paying your own way?

"Things to do before 30" - The adventure List!

After a little research and some frightening tales from my "new parent" friends I decided enough was enough. I may not have instructions for this 20-something adventure but by gum I'm certainly not going to stand around waiting to die*.

*turn 30.

So I've decided to do what many other organised, motivated and procrastinating folk would do and make a list of all the things I want to do before I turn 30. It seems there are many other bloggers out there who have done the same and had amazing success and an even better time so, here I go! Enthusiastic and with a very quiet Friday night ahead of me.

I've started the list off with some of the more predictable ideas:

Learn wine tasting
Choose a religion (and try to stick to it)
Learn a foreign language
Visit Amsterdam (for the museums, art and culture obviously!)
Do a charity sporting event
Buy a car/house/pet (I still drive around in the tin can "hand-me-down" I passed in and park it on my parents driveway)

I want my list to really reflect me and include some of the things I've dreamed about; not just the things offered to you on an 18-30's holiday, so to the ...

Live in a foreign country - even just for a short while
Quit my job and try doing something I love (this one scares me even as I type it)
Perform one of my songs at a real gig (not just to my friend Lee when drunk)
Start a business venture - even in these bad financial times

I'm still adding to the list now but am making a start ticking things off as I go.

I'll be updating on my progress but as an 80's glam rock band once said:

"I've made up my mind,
I ain't wasting no more time
Here I go again!"
- Whitesnake, Here I go again.

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