Tuesday, 23 August 2011

Grown up rule #2 Don't scratch your gnat bites

2am - My foot feels like it's been stung - I use my emergency bite light (iPhone) to check the damage and sure enough I have a gnat bite on my foot. With a little scratch I go back to sleep.

2.01am - That scratch wasn't quite enough. Ahhh that's better; back to sleep.

3am - Another sting and I've got 3 burning bites on my foot. With a few scratches and one for luck I'm just sitting with the light on watching listening to the taunting buzz of the gnat who had the last laugh.

3.21am - I use the duvet to scratch; less dramatic but not quite as satisfying. 

4.15am - I lick my hand and apply the natural antihistamine. Naturally, this doesn't work and with a cheeky scratch and I continue where I left Angry Birds.

7.20am - I should be up by now but instead I've resorted to the trusty favourite to try and get some sleep - I find my longest nail and apply the condemning
cross hair to each tingling bite. And wait; as I know that this will end the madness.

Monday, 22 August 2011

Grown up rule #1 Eat your greens

After 26 years of international culinary discovery, mishaps, experimentation and indulgence my Mother continues to warn me of the ill effects of not eating my greens.

I am quite positive that whether you saute, roast, immerse in £38 Manuka honey and balance them daringly on a bed of Italian male models I will not enjoy eating parsnips. Why I need to be reminded of this golden rule in front of the maitre d' of my favourite local eatery (Bacchus) is still a mystery to me . The withering roll of the eyes from my exasperated Mother met with an understanding look from the old waiter really was the parsnip on the foul tasting cake.

Melancholic Monday

This blog is to document for all those self appointed judges who had cracked the Husband and 2.4 kids by the ripe old age of 23, that in 2011 we twenty-somethings are forced to "wing it" and it's a bloody nightmare without instructions!

So currently I have only ticked off one of the biggies; I have an interesting and fairly well paid job but the pressure of the big M's (Marriage and Mortgage) and the even more terrifying Big 'B' (Babies not bottom although that too is a constant worry) is starting to show. Cracks are appearing in my happy single girl persona and I'm scared it's picking up pace.
Enter Cherry Healey; not just an intelligent, funny BBC Three presenter providing light hearted documentary style relief after a tedious day in the office but reassuring the twenty-somethings that all is not lost and that surviving this crossroads could be more fun without instructions!