"Spoilt" vs "Paying your own way"

I've had to decide over the last couple of days whether to write a post about a scenario that happened this week or just call it a "bad day" and leave it there, but I can't shift it from my thoughts and so for that reason I must get it off of my "literary chest".

"Spoilt" vs "Paying your own way".

For those who may not know I've got a full time office job (home based but a 9-5 job none the less), I work as a freestyle hairdresser in the evenings and weekends and am currently saving every penny I have for half the deposit of our future home.

If the tiara fits?

I am very lucky to have a thoughtful, clever and funny boyfriend and he is in a similar financial position; ambitious, on the first few rungs of the career ladder and saving. He is also welcoming of my modern feminist stance on "going dutch" and can very rarely afford to treat me like a princess even if I wanted him to. 


I love shopping and going to the pub with my friends on pay day but still drive around in my first car, live at home with my Mum and still recycle my old faithful summer/winter wardrobe.

Alas, this week somebody very close to me said I was "Spoilt" because the money I have left over from bills is normally spend on myself.

As a twenty-something in 2012 I don't have the responsibility that others do- children, a mortgage or debt (other than student loans) so I've been making the most of being utterly selfish (with a huge list of demands before 30) whilst I can. However, I fund this ALL myself.


As a woman who earns her own money, pays her way, goes dutch on dates with her boyfriend and has been saving for the future for what seems like forever, being called "Spoilt" feels like a step back for equality; like we can fight to have it all like men do, as long as we don't flaunt it?

Gone are the days when men had to buy us a home or put food on the table and I for one am all for the new age as it means I get buying power and can be proud of what I've earned whether it's shoes, a house or a holiday with the girls!

It's my money and I'll spend it if I want to

Does being "spoilt" depend on what you bought? Who bought it? Whether it was a treat for yourself or a necessity to survive?


What is the difference being "spoilt" and just paying your own way?